“No man ever threw away life while it was worth keeping.” said philosopher David Hume. Although he was talking about suicide, he could just as easily have been referring to staying in an unhappy relationship. Home working throughout the pandemic has proven to be a real relationship wrecker. Research from law firm Stewarts, showed a … Read more
A friend of mine recently attended her first counselling session, and then returned dismayed, disappointed and down-heartened because her counsellor didn’t give her any advice. She complained, loud and long, that she’d paid upwards of £50 a session, and come away with nothing. Not even a crumpled leaflet. Far from empathising with her plight, I … Read more
Eugh, the therapy hangover. It is so uncomfortable. Every Tuesday evening I go and see my counsellor. He is a skillful, compassionate and generally excellent therapist. At the end of our sessions together, I feel better. Better for having spoken about my feelings, faced my fears and explored my emotions. But the next day… The … Read more
Ambition may no longer be a dirty word but as a desirable, female quality it certainly doesn’t feel squeaky clean. I asked my friends what the term ‘ambitious woman’ conjured up for them, and they reported the following: Sigourney Weaver in Working Girl, stiletto heels, Dior Poison perfume and being a bitch to get ahead. … Read more
It’s not easy to write a review of Matt Haig’s The Comfort Book. Not because it’s badly written, or dull or unoriginal. But just because it’s all so pleasant and reassuring, that there’s not a lot to say. The book is ideal for the coffee table, the bedside table, or as a gift for friends. … Read more
It may be good to talk, but for some people it can feel really bad. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve experienced trauma, take a while to trust or just come from a family that don’t ‘do’ feelings. Speaking out loud about your inner world can be frightening. I have to admit that when I first … Read more
As a therapist I believe in the healing power of talking. But for some people, speaking about how they feel is an almost impossible task. They withdraw into a world of their own, and silence becomes their sanctuary. Harriet Shawcross’s book, Unspeakable The Things we Cannot Say, takes a look at the limits of language … Read more
Daring to embrace your dream, only to have it snatched away is painful. A proper stomach sinking, tightness in the chest, type painful. For some, the fear of failure will be a block to even attempting to achieve goals. Disappointment just hurts too much. But the truth is, if you have a dream, and the … Read more
As I read Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, I was reminded of my very first counselling placement which was within bereavement. Within these sessions, I listened as clients explored their grief. Often they spoke of shock, sometimes abandonment and occasionally a sense of overwhelm. Reflecting on this work, I’m struck by how inept … Read more
From the moment I started earning money, I have been desperate to spend it. I hear the siren call of the shops, wherever I am. For me a day without an Amazon package is dull and grey. But when I know my doorbell will be a’ringing with deliveries, there’s fission and purpose in the air. … Read more
I’m so used to reading heavy-going mental health books that If in Doubt Wash Your Hair, by entrepreneur Anya Hindmarch was like a mini break for the mind. There’s no trauma, grief or suicide here, just Anya’s common sense advice on how to live a more fulfilling life. From the chic front cover (sunny yellow, … Read more
I say that wherever you are in the year, is the perfect point to reflect on how you feel. And, if you’re among the majority of us who made glittering new year’s resolutions back in January, only to find they’ve fallen by the wayside, then don’t worry. There is still plenty of time to get … Read more