For me, September always has that new school feeling. It’s a fresh start. A chance to have a re-set and then a hard and fast sprint towards the Christmas holidays. I also find it a wonderful time to focus on achieving goals. Especially, since after the summer break I usually have the enthusiasm and energy for it.
So, if like me you’re feeling the time is right to make some changes, here are some simple yet effective strategies to support you.
1. Consider whether your original goal is still meaningful to you
Perhaps you write down your resolutions at the beginning of the year. Or perhaps you have one that’s brought out and dusted off most months, yet never actually gets attained. If this sounds familiar, then it might not be because it’s hard but because it’s not meaningful to you. What will this goal do for you, why’s it’s important, and how does it align with your values?
A common one I hear from my clients is weight loss. But unless you’re very overweight, and unhappy about it, weight loss will make little difference to your mental health or your quality of life. It can also be very triggering for people with eating disorders to find themselves in a deprivation mind set.
When you revisit the goals you frequently make, it’s worth considering whether they’re still meaningful to you? Is it actually weight loss that you want or to just feel comfortable in your own body? Perhaps stronger, sexier and more confident? Often automatically assume weight loss is the answer, but their real desire is to feel ownership of their body and a sense of comfort energy and ease within themselves.
If you’re unsure about whether a goal is really what you want, then one way to check is to be aware of the words, ‘should’ or ‘ought to’ when thinking or speaking about it. For example, the woman who says, “I should think about settling down and having children now I’m 35.” Counsellors are taught to watch for words like these, because they suggest it’s may not be what the clients really wants, but it’s something that’s been imposed on her by someone else, or by society at large. In counselling parlance these are called introjections, and it’s well worth examining your own.
2. Think of the first half of the year as trial and iteration
Before becoming a counsellor, I worked in communications at the Design Council. It taught me many things, including the word Iteration which means, “the process of doing something again and again, usually to improve it.”
From the first nine months of the year, if nothing else, you’ll probably have some feedback about what worked and what didn’t work on the road to achieving goals. So for example, let’s imagine one of your goals was to have better boundaries around friends and family.
Even if you’re boundaries have now lapsed, and you feel you’re back to square one, you’re actually not. From this original period, however short, you can analyse, what worked, what didn’t. What helped you hold your boundaries firm and what caused them to crumble? Using the information already gained, you’re now in a much better position to revisit your boundaries armed with prior learning. Using this approach moves your mind set away from pass and fail thinking. And instead it helps you adopt an iterative approach to achieving your goals.
3. Invest in the resources you need to help you achieve your goals
If you’re serious about your goals then it’s probably worth investing either time or money to help you achieve them. I know so many people who have planned to write a book. But the only two I know who got their books published either hired a writing coach, to help them with the planning, or a life coach for confidence and accountability.
If it’s fitness that will be beneficial to your mental health, then it’s probably worth paying a child minder for a couple of hours. This will allow you some pre booked solid training time, rather than squeezing it in late at night when you’re exhausted.
Investing either time or money in your goal can also be the true test of whether it’s meaningful to you. If you’re reluctant to make the leap, then it could be because the goal just isn’t right for you. Or at least it’s not right for you just now. If this is the case, then you could either go back to step one and revisit meaningful goals. Or you can put all this reaching, striving and attaining to rest and wait until you’re ready. Sometimes accepting there’s enough on your plate, focussing on self-care and saying no is the best hat trick of all time.
I’d love to hear what worked for you and what didn’t in achieving your goals, so if you’re happy to share then I’d love to read it.