Do you ever feel as though your walking through treacle? That life has suddenly slowed to a lethargic pace? No one’s getting back to your calls, or emails, and it feels like there’s no progress in life. In fact, even those things that once brought you pleasure no longer do. I think of this as The Sludge Zone. It’s not quite depression but it can be a precursor to it.
And for many people it’s a scary and lonely place to be. It doesn’t have the crushing sadness and hopelessness of depression, you’d probably feel a fraud going to your doctor. But you still know that life shouldn’t feel so joyless – and such hard work.
If you’re in the sludge zone, then the first thing to remember is: Don’t panic. Flailing around, when you’re already sinking, will only drag you further down. There are ways out of the sludge zone and back to pleasure. Here are some helpful tips to help you start feeling the joy again.
1. Prioritise your self-care every day
And not just the basics. It should go without saying that you need to be well-rested, nourished, exercised. If this isn’t happening then your pets are getting better care than you. Start making the time, every day, to do the things that fill you back up. Have a coffee in your garden, schedule a phone call with a friend, read a magazine, go for a long walk through the park or take a bath. Whatever will make you feel a little more like you.
Often, when people find themselves feeling flat, it’s good self-care that’s dropped off the agenda. Reinstate it as a matter of urgency, and see if that’s a leg up from the sludge zone a bit.
2. Try Something new
Once the self-care is underway, and your basics have been taken care of, then hopefully you’ll have the energy to try something different. It doesn’t really matter what you try, as long as it’s new to you and enjoyable. Because simply having a new, pleasant experience releases dopamine – a neurotransmitter, which plays a key role in pleasure and reward. It also helps with neuroplasticity, enabling the brain to fire away and make new connections.
Options can range from wild swimming, visiting a new city, playing on the zipline down at the park, trying a new dish or just watching a film you really want to see. And everything in between.
3. Explore your feelings with a therapist
Sadness and anger, when not expressed, can solidify into a cold hard feeling of flatness. If this sounds familiar, then it can be worth finding a counsellor to help you work through these feelings.
If you’ve never had counselling before, and you’re not sure whether it’s worth going for feelings of stuckness, then why not try a discovery call? Most counsellors offer them free of charge and it allows you to see if they can help with your concerns and also whether you’d be a good fit together.
4. Get honest about what you do want
Getting out of the sludge zone means getting honest about what you do want. From the small, in the moment, things like a bacon sandwich and a nap. To the big things, like I really want to write a book.
Sometimes, as the drudgery and duty of the daily grinds mounts up on top of us, our own dreams and desires get buried. If this is you, then make an effort, to take them down, dust them off and really look at them again. Be honest with yourself. Do you still want them, and can you still find ways to achieve them. If you do then write down your goals and keep them near. Often the sludge zone, comes from living a half life, where we’re always available to other’s demands, but rarely in tune with our own.
There is also one particularly excellent book I’ve read and reviewed about this feeling of flatness, and it’s called Feeling Blah by Tanith Carey. It’s a wonderful book, easy to read but packed full of research and advice that will see you going from blah to brilliant.